Recently I have shared how to have less stress in your homeschool and then I shared our story of having too much stress! How HomeSchool is not always perfect.
Can we first just all agree that is it is perfectly OK to be stressed, to go through difficulty, and to need time to have your heart refreshed?
Because HomeSchool is not one size fits all. It is not the yellow brick road. We are not robots. It is a different journey for everyone and each of us are equipped to handle situations completely different.
There is no shame… ZERO shame… in the difficult days. Our children’s choices are not a direct reflection on how well we homeschooled or how much we prayed. Free will is their choice!
Now for the HomeSchool heart reset…
I cannot tell you that the way I handled things is the way you are “supposed to” handle things. I can tell you eating a box of chocolate donuts (every 3 days) will not help. It might taste good, but it doesn’t change attitudes.
Staying up all night worrying because you cannot stop thinking over and over what you did wrong or why is this so hard… Will not lead to happiness just harder tomorrows because you’re exhausted!
Your faith might be completely different than mine, but when I was poured out before the Lord did I feel his comfort. Worship music made me feel better. Prayer was all I had. And gratitude kept my eyes on the bigger picture.
You might be thinking HomeSchool is your big picture. But it’s not. Family relationships, that’s the big picture! Getting a C on a science test is not a child’s character. Character matters. And if I had it all to do again from the beginning I would’ve paid far more attention to that! But I was consumed in grades, curriculums, and proving to our family members and friends that I was capable of homeschooling and my kids we’re not going to be damaged because of the location where they filled in a worksheet.
But it’s not multiplication facts that rears its ugly head in the teenage years friends. It’s character. And if your kids are not taught how to treat others, how to forgive, how to communicate, how to work through their problems, and basic morale compass of right from wrong… It doesn’t matter what curriculum you buy this summer. It doesn’t matter which science you teach in fourth grade. It doesn’t matter how many field trips you plan.
So my encouragement to you in the difficult time and right after… Get your heart right.
Don’t take their shenanigans personally. Don’t weigh and judge your capabilities in their results. Do the best you can with what you have. Be intentional. Love a lot. Show grace daily. And take time for yourself.
If its 30 minutes a day. If it’s one hour at the gym. If it’s one night a week. If it’s a full Saturday. Know yourself and know what recharges your batteries.
I have a runner friend, yet running does nothing for me. I have a singing friend, yet singing does nothing for me. I have a shopping friend, yet shopping does nothing for me. Know what charges your batteries and what makes you feel good about you. Not you the mom. Not you the wife. But you the person God created before your family. You the person you are with yourself.
Then have a discussion with your children or your spouse or whomever it is you need to let them know what you need in order for them to support you in this recharging time. Because you do need their support.
Don’t be selfish. Don’t be gluttonous. Don’t be a sloth. But do the thing that matters. Going out and blowing the budget, over eating, getting drunk, etc. that’s not the point of any of this. And I hate to burst the bubble but that’s not self-care. That’s irresponsible immature selfishness.
That just brings more difficulty later. But do the thing you love. The thing that God put inside of you along time ago and bring that out to enjoy and refresh your heart.
I did Zumba. I gardened. I painted rocks. I picked flowers. I watched sunsets. I took deep breaths and counted blessings out loud. I wrote thank you cards and sent gifts in the mail. I made time for girl/mom talk. I told jokes. I drank sugary coffee outside in the fall. I confided in my mentor mom. I did what made me happy and recharged my heart.
These things gave me the correct mindset to head back to my situation with fresh eyes and a refreshed heart to tackle and get things accomplished.
If it’s a change of curriculum, a change in daily routine, a change in bedtimes, a change in food choices, a change in exercise, a change in screen time, a change in discipline … whatever it is that needs to happen – work towards that.
I am the type of gal who believes in second chances. I usually always root for the underdog. And I love a good redemption story. It just so happens our God does as well.
Be encouraged it’s not over until the fat lady sings. Jesus has not come back. You are still capable of momming your little heart out. You are not alone. And you are loved by the Creator of the universe!