Let’s be honest with each other today and admit that homeschooling can be a tad temperamental. Just when you think it’s going smooth and Instagram worthy … homeschool turns traitor on you and suddenly overwhelmingly stressful. Every day can drag on leaving you feeling depleted.
Our middle school homeschooling years felt like good day vs bad day and I didn’t know which would win. I was just holding on white knuckled hoping we’d get through without too much stress and strain. We got through … but it took a toll on me emotionally and physically.
After 10 years of homeschooling I’m going to share just a few ideas I’ve learned (the hard way) that I consider are tips to stress free homeschooling. Hopefully you will not have to make the same mistakes I made!
1. You own your curriculum – CURRICULUM DOES NOT OWN YOU. If you need to skip ahead get your ruby slippers on and start skipping. If you need to repeat, repeat! The curriculum is a guideline to follow and one that can and should be adjusted to each student. There have been a few years when we didn’t finish a book (gasp – we’re not in homeschool jail). I decided when to keep going and when to stop. I’ve even been so bold to trash bad curriculum and move on to something better. Don’t be a prisoner to your curriculum!
2. LEARN THE ART OF FLEXIBILITY. Nothing screams upcoming failure than a homeschool mom with blinders on to the wonderful opportunities around her. You’re not married to your planner, and if you do like that type of concrete commitment then plan some wiggle room. Those days will come, I guarantee. Its the days someone can’t find the spelling book, you’re invited to fill in at the sold out theater show, you scheduled the dentist in the middle of the morning, someone drops by without calling, the cable guy shows up during the last minute of his two hour scheduled block, your 800 library books are due before noon, your mother wants to chat for an hour on the phone about your sister, someone has a fever, it’s the 1st day of fall and everyone already headed outside, or you just woke up late and need 15 more minutes with your coffee. Because it’s coffee. Flexibility is key to homeschool success.
3. Pick what you want to teach but CONSIDER INTEREST-LED LEARNING. When my oldest son was about 3rd grade he woke up each morning and wanted to learn about ducks. Seahorses. Crabs. Inch Worms. Every day I was proud of my perfectly good lesson that had absolutely nothing to do with what he suddenly wanted to learn about. Can you guess how he sulked through each one of my lessons? It wasn’t pretty y’all. One day I finally gave up and blurted, “I don’t know – let’s go to the library and check out a book on starfish”. You’d think he won a date with Spider-Man. He put forth so much more attention during that book because it was an interest to him. I made sure I started planning “Jake Blocks” in our days so he could pick whatever and we’d both learn together.
4. It’s not all about you, so LEARN HOW YOUR CHILDREN LEARN BEST. Homeschool was a heck of a lot easier when I figured out my boy’s Learning Styles. I went from beating myself over the head trying to explain simple math skills to thoroughly enjoying our homeschool days. Your children were created uniquely different than you – embrace that! Probably, they’re different from each other too. Rather than struggle to teach the way you want them to learn – teach according to their learning style.
5. Stop comparing and RUN YOUR OWN RACE! If it’s curriculum choices, perfect art projects, above average grades, decorated rooms, overflowing supplies, whatever … stop comparing your homeschool experience to someone else’s journey. It’s supposed to be different! You’re teaching different children. There are different love languages involved. Different learning styles. Different teaching styles. Different curriculum budgets. Different resources. Different agendas. Different levels of interest. THIS ISN’T PUBLIC SCHOOL!
Comparing is wasted time and shackles you with unrealistic expectations. It also reeks of ungratefulness. Do not even allow yourself a second of disappointment. If that means stop reading homeschool blogs or unfollowing homeschoolers on Instagram – save yourself!
6. Deal with negative attitudes before NEGATIVE ATTITUDES START CONTROLLING YOUR HOMESCHOOL. This can be in the form of teenage eye rolling, someone complaining about editing a paper, repeating math skills, skipping assignments, zero help cleaning up, a friend or in-law’s snarky opinion about the fact that you chose to homeschool, or just the way you feel about that gloomy rainy Monday. If something is dragging your homeschool down get to the bottom of it quickly before it multiplies and ruins every day.
So you’re stressed … now what??
When you do feel stressed take a few minutes to identify the trigger for your stress and address it! Don’t pretend everything is ok or that tomorrow tomorrow it’ll magically be better. Or that eating that whole red velvet bundt cake by yourself is a good idea. Because you’re not only stressed but now you’re fooling yourself. And you just put on 20lbs. Friend, you deserve better. I did it – I know. Middle school about drove me bonkers. The truth was that I was ashamed to admit homeschooling wasn’t working for us because I didn’t want people to think I was incapable of homeschooling my own children.
Homeschooling is a fantastic opportunity, but it’s also super stressful if you’re not prepared for some basic hurdles. Knowing everyone faces them is helpful, but preparing for them is best! I believe these five tips will definitely help you navigate the homeschool waters with less stress. Good luck!!