I am happy to report that my son has survived his first year of public school.
After 10 years of being home together the dynamics changed. Puberty started and my once obedient lovable child transformed into an alien.
He became tired, lazy, and refused to do Homeschool work. I could not get him to finish a biology lab or care to study for a test. Our smooth easy going relationship morphed overnight into two pieces of sandpaper rubbing together.
Every relationship in the house started to weaken. Jacob and Me, Hubs and me, Hubs and Jacob, and finally me and Henry ~ because I would be so overwhelmed and stressed. ( which eventually led to us just stopping fourth grade early )
Hubs made an abrupt decision that it was the end of Homeschool for him.
Oh, I could tell you how uncomfortable I was in the Registration Office. Or how being ‘homeschoolers’ we were treated more foreign than the Puerto Rican refugees who didn’t speak a word of English. Or that I cried the drive home and felt like such a complete failure. {Moms, can we just stop taking that weight and killing ourselves with our teenager’s decisions??}
But, we survived! Of course I write that title tongue-in-cheek since many of our homeschool friends were terrified for us. I mean I received such awkward, bizarre, deflating statements about our choice to start public school.
Yes. There were some struggles, shocks, and disappointments we’ve experienced … but there were also big wins, laughter, and most importantly our relationship restored!
High School
Since we joined the school in the middle of the year many classes were filled and he did not get into any “honors classes”. Quickly by the end of the third quarter we were told by numerous teachers he was “above” his classes or it was “too easy” for him.
Being so easy, he took advantage and slacked off on homework. As in he did as little as necessary. {I was not thrilled with this behavior} He still made A’s and B’s.
I will be honest and share that I can’t believe how many projects Jacob had to finish on his own because the group had a language barrier. Even though many foreign students have passed an English test in order to sit in regular classes … student’s had to use Google Translate. This made it very difficult and also an interesting environment for my son.
Yeah we had to trudge past the profanities (kids use the F word in conversation w/ the teachers like no big deal and sadly hearing that all day long rubs offs). But surprisingly, He was most shocked by girls’ complete lack of modesty – He expected the boys to be bragging about hookups not the girls. The cool thing now is for girls to proclaim themselves as bisexual. The girls say it as if it’s a badge of honor to popularity. And whenever they broke up with a boy they would say, “I’m questioning my sexuality”. Every day lunch table talk.
Moving right along ….
We had “an exchange” with a World History teacher that was disappointing. It is a very long story, and after writing it three different ways it’s just not worth dragging the guy through the mud. I will say – being a united front during a parent teacher conference – the three Laytons – was awesome!!
I am beyond thankful to have taught World History at home and traveled to Italy before public school.
For every disaster there is an amazing Freshman English teacher who likes Batman and a fun Italian 1 teacher and a super cool Drawing 2 teacher. There is even a hard gruff Algebra teacher who pushes you because she believes in you!
So yeah, a few great teachers definitely received teacher appreciation gift this year! They’re not all devil worshipping liberals. {again, another joke for my unsupportive uptight Homeschool friends}
My son joined the tennis team. We were very thankful The coach offered a late tryout since we had missed tryouts before the winter break. The boys team won metro, districts, regionals, and finished third in the state!
Tennis offered my son a feeling of belonging to the school, since there are so many students … Over 3,000. The team comroderie helped him to take pride in being a Titan and helped him to make more friends.
{here I ramble about different things}
There is a huge breakdown in communication between students and parents. We were told by a few teachers that “it is nice to see he tells you what’s going on in class you’d be surprised how many students do not speak to their parents”.
Kids respect themselves a whole lot less than they used to. The things they call themselves and things they are willing to do for attention prove that.
My son was in an algebra class where numerous students were told they were going to fail and have to repeat the class. They absolutely did not care, laughed at the teacher to her face, called her names, and somehow still expected the teacher to pass them.
As far as school shootings … a teacher told one class, “You are completely unprepared for something like that to happen. You all have your heads down into your phones. You’ll never see it coming.”
Boy are phones a problem. Jacob was amused his classmates couldn’t put them away. From hiding them under the desk or behind a book – and the nonsense of living every moment on Snapchat. He quickly became frustrated w/ people taking his photo during tests, lessons, and group projects. As if school was secondary to their Snapchat lives. I do not over-exaggerate, being on campus a few times – these kids are addicted to their phones.
Thankfully Jacob finished 9th Grade with 4 A’s and 2 B’s. We have gotten to a good point again no longer bickering or wanting to get away from each other.
I’ve learned what trust really looks like. It was so easy in my white christian Homeschool bubble. But to trust God in such an uncomfortable situation out of my control … it was real growth for me.
We’re actually looking forward to Jacob’s sophomore year. I kept in contact with his guidance counselor {probably more than she liked} to make sure he will be placed in honors classes.
Recently, I’ve read many Homeschool bloggers share posts ‘When You Want to Quit’. It’s all nice and fluffy words until …. ‘When You Have to Quit to Save Your Family Dynamics because Relationships are More Important than School Location’.
Well, it’s a working title.
For the Homeschool mom who is transitioning to public school … You didn’t quit. You moved on. You changed gears. You adjusted. Stop the quit failure judgement crap. Hubs reminds me often when I feel that criticism, “remember we said we’d evaluate every year.”
Don’t die on the alter of Homeschool to make others happy. Or to save your pride. Do what’s best for your family. No one else has to understand nor approve !!
To the few homeschool friends who still want to remain close while I have 1 foot in public school and 1 foot still homeschooling my youngest … You are such a treasure. The support and prayers were valuable.
Finally, I will repeat that your relationship with your children far outweighs how or where you school. I want my sons to have great education, but I also want them to come back home.