There really is no other way to put it besides, I have been a crappy friend the past few months. I’ve been overly consumed with what’s going on within these four walls that I haven’t been good at helping others, seeing needs, or even reaching out and doing something about it.
I was shocked to read the news that Kate Spade committed suicide. Not because I’m a huge Kate Spade fan… I never owned a purse only coveted them on the shelf at Nordstrom Rack.
But when I read she had a 13-year-old daughter … my heart broke. I do not know the details of her personal life or her relationships with her friends, but what really shook my world was when I stopped to wonder how my friends are doing.
In the rush would I even notice if any of my friends were suicidal right now??
How about even slightly depressed? Probably not and we’d make some dumb joke about drinking red wine to blow off these teenage attitudes. I have been so consumed with our own stuff {schedules, kid’s rebellion & my own} that I know I’m not giving anyone attention ~ not the kind to actually spot any type of “warning signs” or off behavior.
I would be the one dumbfounded idiot in the interview saying, “but she was so happy” not really knowing for sure if she was so happy … or if it was just my opinion that she should be so happy.
Are we willing to make the time to check in with people? I’m not pointing any fingers but I know my phone hasn’t been ringing off the hook. I’ve been off Facebook for three months and not a soul has texted to say “haven’t seen you post anything recently ~ are y’all OK”.
Hear me on this, this is not about me wanting a phone call! I am definitely aware that I am not investing enough time and care into my relationships.
My good friend‘s husband goes into cancer surgery this week. We brought her over a few frozen meals just because I knew she would have a plethora of hot meals coming from church.
I stood in her garage – jaw to the floor flabbergasted when she told me no one had called to offer to bring her a meal. Since she has stepped back from serving here and leading there – they haven’t kept up with her.
She’s not reaching out to ask for help and I really don’t blame her because that is one of my weakest faults. Yet I still wanted to cry driving away wondering what the hell is making us so busy we can’t even help our friends anymore??!!?
When in the world did just keeping up with someone become a good substitute for real friendship?
I don’t want to slip into coma friendship and become just a drive-by thumbs up type of friend who “keeps up with someone” on social media and nothing more. That is such garbage!
Our status updates are not little gossip tidbit tabloids to digest and quickly move onto the next tasty morsel. We need to stop consuming updates for a virtual scrapbook.
Friends we really have to do better. Make the time!
If someone can’t meet you out for that coffee & your picture perfect selfie … go to their house! Roll up your sleeves to help fold laundry over good conversation. Ride shotgun during the taxi drive of carting kids around. Show up at that hot loud T-ball game and cheer on your friends’ kids. Sit in the waiting room with someone. Bring that box mix of blueberry muffins. Yeah it’s box mix – there is no judgment it is just love.
Make the time before its too late.
Be the one-in-a million friend who is not satisfied with a Facebook update.