When I first started dating my husband back in 2001 we spent a lot of time together. Tennis, going out to eat, watching movies, walks on the beach, and golfing. After a few weeks of romantic googly eyes the man turned to me and said, “you need a hobby”. I was incredibly offended. If looks could kill … you’d be surprised to know that same phrase came up after we had 2 kids running around the house jumping off furniture dressed like Batman and Robin.
Is there a non-super woman on this planet who has time to flip the laundry, cook uninspiring meals, homeschool, keep the pets alive, and the home fires burning – and just for what a giggle, go indulge in a hobby in her spare nano-second?
Again, the phrase was not appreciated as my man hopped into the golf cart to play a “quick” 18-holes. For the record, it takes 4 hours to play golf. That’s one day of homeschool.. My man also enjoyed mountain biking, kite surfing, snowboarding, and watercolors. I’ll point out the obvious, he has not graded one research paper, cleaned up after craft time, hugged away long division stress, nor has he dissected an owl pellet with an entire homeschool co-op – without gagging! He does offer ridiculous amounts of help cooking and cleaning and planning our extravagant vacations. This isn’t a bash on Hubs post. You will never find one here.
more men have hobbies than women
Statistically, more men have hobbies than women. Which blows my mind because hobbies can: relieve stress, offer creative outlets, provide an income, challenge oneself, declutter thoughts, and the list goes on. Yet women – the stressed out, exhausted, frazzled, weary, hot messes of the world are less likely to start a hobby. WHY?!
I don’t have the time!
Lack of time seems to be a common reason why women do not engage in hobbies. I found it interesting that there is no time mentioned in the actual definition of the word hobby. Hobby: a pursuit outside one’s regular occupation engaged in especially for relaxation. Why do we just assume a hobby requires 4 hours of our day, every day of the week, and has some ulterior motive to sabotage dinner, laundry, and a good nights rest?
Think about this …
As homeschool moms we spend our time trying to raise a “well rounded adult”
We research and pay and schedule and plan our children into ALL the electives, sports, and clubs. Because we tell ourselves it’s going to be good for them. Yet we neglect to research, pay, schedule, and plan any activities for ourselves. We’ll spend a gallon of bubble bath and take pictures of our wine glasses or hair appointments for the sake of #selfcare yet feel stressed a moment later. What about #soulcare ? #creativecare ? #stresscare ? #mentalcare ? #joycare ?
Friend, You Need a Hobby
As we start rolling into the new year why not think about hobbies instead of racking up a “don’t list” we stop following in February. Maybe you’ve already ditched your resolutions not to eat pasta. I have. Instead I’m going to write down a hobby list instead. My adult mama homeschooling friends Cheryl and Rebecca are practicing piano just because they want to do it. This past year I’ve ventured many hikes, alone. And the experience was beautiful.
I’ve enjoying Cultural Anthropology courses through Coursera, taking yoga classes, and making a mess of chalk pastels. Not because I’m doing it for a homeschooler who doesn’t want to do it alone, but I’m just doing it for me because it makes me smile.
ChalkPastelArt.com
I’m starting a Hobby List -one thing to try each month for the year. For instance, I’d love to take a pottery class. Not because I want to stock my cabinets full of dishes or start an Etsy store. I just want to try pottery. They’ll all probably turn out lopsided and sad. I want to try ax throwing and wood carving. Why not?! I’m ready for the pursuits outside one’s regular occupation engaged in especially for relaxation! Are you ready?